Leading Contender for "Weirdest News Story, 2007"

Unless I'm missing something, it seems to me the correct response to this situation is to say, "Thank you, God!" not call the police: "Masturbating trespasser booted from frat."

I'm already at work on making a "Will not call cops on masturbating women" sign for my front lawn. So ladies, feel free to drop by for a bit of self-pleasure if you can't wait to get to your own home. (I can't promise Carl Monday won't find out, though.)

Update: You know you were wondering what this chick looks like. Well, the Frat Boy News blog (I didn't know there was such a thing, either) has a photo up matching the description of the she-wanker. It's clearly on campus and there's a dude wearing a Michigan hat, so it seems like it could be genuine.