Monday, November 13, 2006

Columbus Delenda Est: Ohio State Hate Week Kicks Off

In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.

No longer. The Great Old Ones are loose. The stars are right for an epic matchup, The Biggest College Football Game in the History of Ever, wherein the Michigan Wolverines head into the cyclopean, non-Euclidean nexus of evil to take on the many-tentacled Buckeye monster.

Bruthulu must be destroyed!
Evil Bruthulu rises from the wretched cesspool of Columbus.

The regional and national media need no help from this two-bit blog to hype The Game. We all know what needs to be done. The conqu'ring heroes must defeat the forces of evil and make the world safe for democracy, freedom, puppies, and people without mullets.

This is their charge. This is their destiny. Much is at stake. Should they fail in their quest, the world will succumb to trailer parks, Bud Light, wife-beater t-shirts, monosyllabic words, and all other things Ohio.

Onward, Wolverines. Columbus delenda est!

(Stay tuned for much more hate as the week goes on...)