OK, so the thing with the Mormons didn't go so well last week. Half of Tree Town converted from the religion of environmentalism and became full-fledged Latter Day Saints. It was ugly, and the ensuing demand for chocolate milk and 8pm curfews wreaked havoc on local bars and restaurants.
But now it's time to get ready for Miami. They're bringing their cocaine, guns, bling, and hoochie mamas up to Ann Arbor from down south in an effort to take out the Wolverines. 
All that sex, dope, violence, sleaze, and Afro-Cuban music will be a major culture shock for the newly converted citizens of A2. And lest you think I'm overstating the gangsta cred of Miami University's homeboys, peep this: Just a few weeks ago a player for the Redhawks was arraigned on one count of burglary. He was also accused of assaulting a co-ed in her bed.
What can the Mormonified, milquetoast Michigan offense do against such warriors of the streets? Probably not much, so it will have to be up to the less Mormonified, milquetoast defense to keep the thugs at bay and eke out a victory for the maize and blue. I know the line favors Michigan by two touchdowns, but you got to watch your back against these punk-ass bitches. Even the cops down there are thoroughly corrupt and run with the dealers and hos.
Take nothing for granted, Wolverine faithful, and watch out for someone with greasy hair and a gold necklace spiking your chocolate milk.
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