Monday, January 07, 2008

No Reservations

Yes, sir, I AM jealous of youAnthony Bourdain. I want this dude's life. Traveling to exotic places, eating great food, getting drunk on the local firewater, and dispensing smartass commentary about what I'm doing and on life in general -- all on someone else's dime. Yes. Yes, I think I could do this.

For anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, Bourdain is the star of No Reservations, airing on the Travel Channel Mondays at 10pm. Tonight is the start of its third season. Bourdain used to be a professional cook in New York, but now he, well, travels to exotic places, eats great food, gets drunk on the local firewater, etc. And writes books. This is his job. And he is as aware as anyone of how good he has it:

I don't see writing as anything more important than cooking. In fact, I'm a little queasier on the writing. There's an element of shame, because it's so easy. I can't believe that people give me money for this shit. The TV, too. It's not work. At the end of the day, the TV show is the best job in the world. I get to go anywhere I want, eat and drink whatever I want. As long as I just babble at the camera, other people will pay for it. It's a gift. A few months ago, I was sitting cross-legged in the mountains of Vietnam with a bunch of Thai tribesman as a guest of honor drinking rice whiskey. Three years ago I never, ever in a million years thought that I would ever live to see any of that. So I know that I'm a lucky man.
This week he's in Singapore, next week Berlin, then Vancouver, the Greek Islands, and -- oh yes -- New Orleans. Yep, it sucks to be Tony Bourdain.

Note to any TV producers reading this: I'm ready and willing to help you replicate the success of No Reservations anytime you need a host. My resume speaks for itself. Eats? Check. Gets drunk? Check. Smartass? Check and mate. Heck, I'll even do an Ann Arbor only version for public access, if you pick up the tab. Whaddya say?

Anyone? Bueller?