Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Equatorial Africa Is Hot Hot Hot!

Hey there, my two remaining loyal readers, I'm back from Tanzania, just in time for the 2007 college football season. While on safari in the Serengeti, amidst other fairly remote-ish places, I met not one, but two Michigan grads, who recognized me as a fellow alum despite my inconspicuous appearance. Africa, bitches. Africa.

Africa, bitches
Wherein I bring the light of Michigan fandom to the Dark Continent.

I'll have more on my trip once I get re-settled and more organized, but for now, I'm trying to get caught up on my football news and previews. For example, I've discovered that, in my absence:

Chad Henne has learned to be a (jerk). Michigan's quarterback inspires teammates, awesomely dorky Detroit News headline. Any ideas what "jerk" actually was? I have a guess in for "cock wrangler," but I'm going with "douche nozzle."

Marques Slocum got a fuck lion. The incoming defensive lineman, who's spent the last 14 and 1/2 years trying to academically qualify for Michigan, talks about his pets, amongst other things, on his Facebook page.

As it happens, while on safari I took a shot of a fuck lion in the wild.

Appalachian State has a player named Jim Bob. No fucking way, you say. But it's true. Michigan's first (and first D1-AA) opponent sports a "fan favorite" receiver from, uh, Blowing Rock, N.C., who's apparently made like two catches ever. (HT: Mgoblog.)

Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Jesus Christ. This guy doesn't leave the bench.

That's all I got for now. Just four days from now I'll be back in the Large Domicile watching the Wolverines eat the hapless Mountaineers. It's going to be... well, you know:

It's not possible to link to this too many times.

Drop by the house for a pregame beer if you're around. You know who you are.