My Dating Life: Or, For the Love of God, Can Something Just Go Right for Once?

In the span of the past 36 hours, two girls I like have both sprung hitherto unknown boyfriends on me.

In times past, this would have aroused in me a veritable storm of disappointment, anger, and soul-sapping despair. But these days, I can no longer fail to see the humor in the train wreck that is my supposed love life.

Actually, it's more like watching the Detroit Lions play. Once you let go of any attachment you as a fan might have, it's just damn funny to watch the many and varied ways the Lions find to lose games. It's as if, week in and week out, no matter how big a lead they might have (the times they have one) or how terribly the other team plays, by the end of the game they inevitably, ineluctably keep their appointment in Samarra.

(Note: This may be the first time anyone has used both football and a W. Somerset Maugham story as a metaphor for the futility of dating. Yay me.)

I may try giving a ring to one other girl tonight and see how that gets screwed up. After that, I think it might be time to go on romance hiatus for a while. I do have plenty of books I'd like to read, and to my knowledge none of them has a boyfriend.


This man is not me.