Thursday, November 20, 2008

Ohio State Week: Your Hate Makes You Powerful Have at You!

OK, who wouldn't love to tee off all Jedi-style on Darth Tressel, only without the virtuous, sissy Skywalker act of mercy at the end?

Aw, c'mon! Cut off his other hand, Luke! And his legs! Go go go hate hate hate killkillkill! More like this:

Alas, it's the Michigan Wolverines who are more like the Black Knight this year, and so all I'm hoping for Saturday is a chance for the team to bleed all over Tressel's sweatervest and maybe bite the grey-panted knees off of an OSU player or two. Brandon "Beast-Man" Graham doing a face-dance on Terrelle "Richard" Pryor just once would be sweet, also.

Losses? We got 'em. More than any in a single season for the last 129 years. (I'm sure no Michigan football fan has been reminded of this before.*) But I'm choosing to look on the bright side of the 2008 edition of The Game:

  • I won't be sitting outside for three hours, sans beer, while rain, sleet, snow, or some combination of all three causes me to lose feeling in my extremities
  • I still have a bottle of Konyagi left
  • Even better, I found a website where I can order more Konyagi
  • Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
On that last bullet, there's no real difference between 3-9 and 4-8, but fucking up Ohio State's season would, in fact, be priceless.

If not? Dude, I can get Konyagi without having to go back to Tanzania, so what do I care?

* Not really.