Thursday, November 20, 2008

Ohio State Week: Recycled Humor

It's well known that Ann Arbor is, well, environmentally conscious. In fact, there are more Earth worshippers here than Christians, Jews, and Muslims put together, I think. So it is in that spirit that I present... your 2008 edition of Recycled Ohio State Jokes. Enjoy!

Proud sponsors of Ohio State Hate Week

Brought to you, as always, by Neal and Bob

Q: Two third graders were standing next to each other. One was an Ohio State fan and the other was a Michigan fan. Which one was bigger?
A: The Ohio state fan. He was 18.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the OSU library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for two hours.

Q: How many Ohio State freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: It's a sophomore course.

Q: How do you make Ohio State cookies?
A: Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.

Q: What do an Ohio State student and a Michigan student have in common?
A: They both got accepted at Ohio State.

Q: Did you hear about the bus full of OSU fans that got hit by a train?
A: Who cares?

Q: Why do OSU students wear hats all the time?
A: So they know which end to wipe.

Q: What do you get when you drive through Columbus really slow?
A: A degree.

Q: How many pallbearers are needed for a Buckeye funeral?
A: Two: One for each of the garbage can's handles.

Q: What's the difference between Ohio State's football stadium and a porcupine?
A: With the stadium, all the pricks are on the inside.


A Michigan student and an Ohio State student are both using the men's room. When they finish their business, the Michigan student heads for the door, while the Ohio State student heads for the sink. The Ohio State student calls to the Michigan student, "At Ohio State, they teach us to wash our hands after going to the bathroom." The Michigan guy replies, "At Michigan, they teach us not to pee on our hands."


An Ohio State grad sees an ad for a $99 cruise. So he goes down to the travel agent and hands over the cash. The travel agent hits him over the head with a bat, stuffs him in a sack, throws him out the back window onto a raft and cuts the raft loose. The Ohio State grad wakes up to find himself adrift along with another Ohio State grad. The first grad says, "I hope they serve dinner on this cruise." The second replies, "They didn't last year."


A group of Ohio State players are sitting in their remedial English class. The instructor asks, "What comes after a sentence?"

Finally confident they know the answer to something, the players shout, "The appeal!"


Q: You're stranded on a deserted island with three people: a cannibal, a mass murderer, and a guy in an Ohio State hat. You have a gun with only two bullets remaining. Whom do you shoot?
A: The Ohio State guy. Twice.


Q: You're stranded on a deserted island with a disgusting pedophile, a violent thug, and an Ohio State fan. You have a gun with only two bullets remaining. Whom do you shoot?
A: What's the dilemma? It's all the same dude.