Sunday, April 15, 2007

Shop Smart! Shop Suds & Soliloquies!

Spring is here, and with it comes the inaugural line of Suds & Soliloquies fashion wear. From the sweatshops of Honduras straight to your door, these t-shirts say, like nothing else can, "I'm a drunken bum, and I helped Dave get more beer by buying his stuff."

Express the shit out of yourself! Choose from among more than 20 awesome designs featuring quotations from dead authors (I'm looking at you, Vonnegut), dumb beer jokes, and potential trademark infringements. Everybody else is doing it, and you don't want to be left out, do you?

But don't take my word for it. Take this actual customer's:
"I ordered one of Dave's shirts and I can't tell you how much pussy* I've gotten every time I've worn it. Like, way more than when I wear that Tag body spray stuff. Which actually smells kind of like ass anyway."

– Someone who reads Suds & Soliloquies

Remember: Buy early, and buy often. You'll only have, like, 100 more opportunities to take advantage of this great gear, so don't delay.

* Substitute "dick" for "pussy" if you're a female potential customer.