Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Footbaw Footbaw Footbaw

John L., we hardly knew ye. So it finally happened today: John L. Smith, aka Slappy McSlapperson, was informed that he is not welcome in East Lansing anymore. He'll screw up the rest of MSU's season and then head off to... coach the Lions? Yeah!!!1 MSU's next coach? Check the AP wire:

So long, John L. Smith EAST LANSING–John L. Smith is out as head coach of the Michigan State Spartans football team, it was announced today. At a 1:30pm press conference, athletic director Ron Mason named H.R. Pufnstuf to succeed Smith.

"H.R. has the right attitude and the ability to get the job done," Mason told reporters. "True, he's even freakier than (Smith), and I didn't think that was possible. But if he doesn't punch himself in the face or anything, we should be all right."

Pufnstuf, best known for his work in a psychedelic 1960s children's show, in turn named Teddy Ruxpin, a talking toy bear, as his defensive coordinator.

Towelie has no idea what's going on"I love that (expletive) bear," Pufnstuf said. "I can make him say whatever the hell I want." Pufnstuf went on to declare the pizza at the press conference to be "awesome."

Reports that Pufnstuf plans on appointing South Park's Towelie as his offensive coordinator remain unconfirmed.
Maybe we can make Teddy sing along to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's "So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright":

So long, John L. Smith
I can't believe how long it took to fire you
Fire you
Fire you

I'll remember John L. Smith
All of the games you'd get pulverized at home
I never laughed so hard
So hard
So hard

Football coaches come and
Football coaches go and
Never slap themselves blue
When I need to cry
I stop a while and think of you

So long, so long...

My new favorite band. Speaking of music, it had been reported that the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who have ties to Michigan, played "The Victors" during their set in Columbus a few nights ago. There's confirmation of it in the comments section of this story in the Columbus Dispatch. "Very disrespectful to Ohio State fans who paid lots of money to attend their show." I love the sound of whining Bucknuts. It sounds like, er, victory, bitches.

Columbus, suck my... kiss
Flea would rather be in Ann Arbor reading the Gargoyle.