Thursday, September 07, 2006

Coming Soon: More Frozen Custard

Improv Inferno, a comedy club in which I've been drunk and unruly a few times, is set to close its doors this weekend, not because business was bad but because, in the words of owner Dan Izzo, "our landlord is terminating our lease in an effort to find someone who can pay in excess of what we currently pay in rent."

We all know what that likely means: Goodbye, unique and different; hello, boring chain with deeper pockets. I don't know who owns that property, but I have a few splendid ideas for a (properly endowed) replacement tenant:

  • Starbucks. The one across the street can be hard to reach when the traffic light is green.

  • Another Main Street Ventures restaurant. Special menu items to include average food at above-average prices.

  • Ice cream/frozen custard/chocolate shop. Because there's apparently not enough of these around to satisfy Ann Arbor's collective, cavity-laden sweet tooth.

  • Google. With some creative office ergonomics, you could fit 1,000 employees in that space. Plus they'd be close to Starbucks, a frozen custard place, and many choices for getting an overpriced, average lunch.
I know the name of the game is maximizing profits, but this still sucks.