On Third Thought

Maybe I'm stuck here after all. I have never dealt with so much bullshit in my entire life, not even in public school. This isn't supposed to be more complicated than rocket science, and yet apparently it is. And more expensive, too.

I think I will get drunk alone tonight; I've tried everything else and the sole reward for my efforts so far has been Life sticking its middle finger in my face. I don't have any energy left.

On Second Thought, Maybe I'll Stay

According to current government-media complex darling/charlatan Richard Florida, Saginaw is an up-and-coming "cool city." Unfortunately for him, The Saginaw News has the courage to reassert the suckiness of this area by debunking Florida's fantasies.

Link via Ann Arbor Is Overrated (ha, ha -- maybe so, but try living here!)

Whoa...

Finally, late tonight, it hit me:

After almost seven years, I'm leaving the soul-deadening sinkhole that is Midland. Ok, so I am giving up a lot of things to do this. But when you feel your very being atrophying a little more each day, you have to do something before you become the male equivalent (if you are indeed male) of a Stepford Wife.

I am presently pursuing all options to secure a place for myself in Ann Arbor. Needless to say, it is difficult since rent there is sky-high. But I am determined to figure something out. And when I do get there, of course all y'all are invited to hang.

New Word

Rumsfail (rums´ fa-l), v., 1. To self-destruct, melt-down or implode under the weight of one's own arrogance. 2. To fail spectacularly, particularly in matters of warfare or diplomacy; to plunge into chaos. 3. Absolute, unmitigated disaster of national or international proportions and consequence; policy failure so utterly abject and miserable as to approach the realm of the epic. "Although long considered to be a costly and murderous fiasco, the prisoner abuse scandal revealed the war in Iraq to be nothing short of a rumsfailure." See also: "Karma."

--From the Freeway Blogger, via Antiwar.com.

Get Your Ass to Mars

Don't ask.

Thanks, I think... to Greg for this great link.

Stupid Beer News II

I know Todd would be disappointed if I didn't include this latest entry in the Stupid Beer News Department. Hoochie Mamas everywhere will no doubt be marching on Washington in protest. Or something.

Demon Rum

So I'm at home innocently reading my copy of Modern Drunkard on the cheap, painted, squirrel-gnawed plywood of the balcony, when I notice that one of the panels of the "Uppity Drunk" comic strip contains a very familiar image. It's one of the hysterical, over-the-top posters my company designed for a hysterical, over-the-top, lying neo-Prohibitionist client pretending to be for "sensible" alcohol regulation. (It's for the kids, you know.)

Anyway, I bemusedly showed the "Uppity Drunk" comic, which rightly mocks neo-Prohibitionists, around the office, and now the Uberboss wants to send a copy of it to the broad who runs the aforementioned hysterical, over-the-top, lying neo-Prohibitionist outfit (who by the way seems to enjoy getting drunk herself, from what I've seen). Well, I hope the hysterical, over-the-top, lying neo-Prohibitionists don't sue Modern Drunkard for using their copyrighted propaganda. I like this magazine, dammit.

Strange But True

I just had to go outside to chase away a squirrel, who was sitting there eating my balcony. Who knew cheap, painted plywood was such a delicacy among bushy-tailed rodents?

I'm in Love

I received my first issue of Modern Drunkard magazine in the mail today, and let me just say, it is everything I hoped it would be. I think I need to start thinking up ideas for articles I can submit. Anybody got any little bits o' genius they're willing to share? No? Maybe you need another drink to help you focus then.

Nothing Is Planned by the Sea and the Sand

After all these years, I'm surprised at how well I still remember the lyrics to Quadrophenia.

Sending Satan Packing

A society of exorcists that meets in secret? How cool!